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A few nights ago I went to an Emily King concert with a couple of friends. In the middle of the show she sang a song called “Animals” and in that moment I knew this week’s Truth Tuesday was born. This week is kind of a Mega Truth Tuesday and it’s dedicated to three hard lessons I’ve learned (okay, I’m still learning). Have you ever gone to the zoo and saw the sign that says “Don’t Feed The Animals”? Well, we’ve all seen enough YouTube videos to know some people don’t take heed and suffer harsh consequences. Yall, I’m one of those people, so get buckled in and take this ride with me.
First, let me give you a little insight on the song Animals. It’s about a “friend” that you know is really not a friend, but you continue to feed it after the sign clearly says DON’T FEED THE ANIMALS! Not too long along I asked a friend from college to meet me to discuss collaborating on an idea. I say friend from college because I need you to know I’ve known this person for YEARS and have been present at several of her life’s milestones. We met, and I presented my event idea. She was thrilled and wanted to do it together. When I asked for updates I always got the run-around. Fast forward a few months later, I found out she was doing a very similar event. I was hurt, upset and felt betrayed. When my self pity went away God was able to teach me a few lessons from this. 1. Never ignore the patterned behaviors of others. 2. Stop procrastinating. 3. Don’t stop sharing your ideas with others. If I was being honest with myself this person had proven not to be a friend countless times throughout the years, but I continued to ignore her patterned behaviors. I have to take responsibility that I didn’t put actions to my ideas and right or wrong someone beat me to it.
Last weekend I had a speaking engagement and afterwards one of the women compared me to Brene Brown (my year has been made). The next day I watched her Netflix special “The Call To Courage”. I was so inspired and called Anthony in the room to talk. I said this lady has made a living speaking about shame and vulnerability. That’s my life so why can’t I make a living doing it too. I could tell something was off, but remember I’m married to a nice guy that will go over the river and through the woods to avoid conflict. Friends, what have I told yall about conflict? Without Conflict There’s NO CHANGE! After a few minutes of going back and forth I finally said, you want to tell me that my weakness is execution. He said yes! Listen yall I’m very self aware and I know execution is a HUGE weakness of mine. For Anthony, it’s like great you want to do it, so think of a plan and execute. He’s very linear and it works for him, but boys and girls sadly my brain doesn’t work like that. We continued our talk and Anthony finally spit some harsh truths to me.
The last thing I have for yall in the mega edition of Truth Tuesday is about trust. Keeping in the theme of Brene Brown, I listened to her Super Soul Conversation titled “The Anatomy of Trust. She broke down trust to one simple word…BRAVING (Boundaries, Reliability, Accountability, Vault, Integrity, Non-Judgement and Generosity). The “V” slapped me right in my face. I had to think about times I’ve lost trust in people and how it’s so difficult to regain. But, I had to once again look inward and think about how many times I’ve opened the vault when I wasn’t supposed to do it. It’s so easy to point the finger at others and say they’ve hurt you. But it can be difficult to admit your hypocrisy.
So, where do I go from here?
- Pay attention to people’s patterned behaviors and act accordingly
- Work on my execution by getting extremely uncomfortable in that arena
- Work on keeping the vault LOCKED DOWN
What harsh truths have you learned lately?
It took courage to write this post, I’m so proud of you! I’m learning that it’s okay to chase after a dream and fail. Sometimes you have to try things in life so you will never be the person that says “what if”
Yes we should all chase our dreams
This is deep sis. Sometimes we ignore what we’ve seen in friends for years but the truth is we should have let them go years ago. Sorry that happened to you but I know it won’t break you but make you better.
Thanks for the support. It’s definitely appreciated. ❤️
I am fortunate that I have always believed what people showed/did ONE TIME . A friend wants only the best FOR YOU not them.
Look my 30s is all about really defining the word “friend”. We cant just throw that word around just because you have known someone for a while and its sad because incidents like what you went through makes people want to keep their circle smaller.
You’ve said a mouthful here! It’s really important to be self-aware. It’s a journey and a hard one. Hard truths will be revealed about yourself and others but it’s still a beautiful journey.
I definitely agree!!!
The power of association is REAL! Choose your company wisely!
That’s a WORD right there!!!
Wow, what . a real post! Thank you for your transparency and your willingness to share your struggles with us. It definitely hard to know when to cut a friend off, especially one that you have known for many years!
Yes, hard but necessary. Thanks so much for reading. ❤️
I think it’s somewhat human nature to want to give people the benefit of doubt, but we have to know when enough is enough. If someone is constantly showing you that they are unreliable; don’t expect to rely on them.
You’re so right!!!