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Since I tell my truths weekly, my life is like a blog post waiting to happen. I try to share honest moments with yall without crossing the lines of privacy in my personal life. A couple of weeks ago Anthony and I were in the kitchen preparing dinner and an argument almost started (well, that’s what he thought). In the middle of our conversation I said, “without conflict there’s no change”. Immediately after saying it I thought oohhh that’s good. I wouldn’t dare say this hasn’t been said before because I know it has. But, sometimes you say things aloud and it makes you stop and think. For this week’s Truth Tuesday I want to talk to yall about the importance of conflict and why it’s necessary.
To be completely honest, these are solely my thoughts because what I’m about to say Anthony doesn’t believe it’s true. Back to our kitchen a few weeks ago. We had a conversation about the laundry room being messy and I thought oh okay we’re going to do this tonight. Seconds later as we moved around the kitchen Anthony was by my ear smacking on something and I said, “hey, can you please close your mouth when you chew”. Initially he thought it was me “retaliating” against his laundry room comment. I had to remind him how “loud chewing” is a pet peeve of mine. Before I could complete my thought he hit me with a “you’re right, sorry, that was my fault”. That’s when I said, “hey you can’t cut me off because you think a conversation can move to the realm of conflict plus without conflict there’s no change”. Anthony swears he doesn’t dodge conflict, but I’m not convinced. Maybe that’s a future blog post.
After the kitchen/loud chewing incident, I thought long and hard about the times a major change has happened in my life. All those times resulted from me confronting a conflict, conquering it and stepping into a new space of change. Conflicts are necessary because they push us out of our comfort zone and force us to face some hard truths.
Three important things to remember about conflict:
- Just because you’re ready to use conflict as a vehicle for change doesn’t mean the person/people on the other end are ready.
- Confronting conflict doesn’t always result in resolution.
- Conflict isn’t always a negative word.
I’ve presented conflict to others as vehicle of change, and sometimes I’ve ended up with my gas tank on E stranded on the side of an emotional highway. You can speak your truth and show someone the cracks in their views and even present a way to work together to compromise, but until they’re ready it’s not going to happen. I’m learning to speak my truths and give people time to let it marinate. But, you must learn how long to let someone marinate on your truths before you take your made from scratch concerns and head on home. When it becomes a waste of your time, energy and peace, then let it go fam.
Remember, just because you confront a conflict doesn’t mean resolution will follow. Change will happen when there’s conflict, but be open to different types of change. This could mean a number of things from a change of scenery or a change in you that leads you one step closer to resolution.
Lastly, conflict isn’t always a negative word. Conflict is the friend that’s misunderstood. It wants you to grow, but sometimes it doesn’t know how to effectively communicate. In return, people assume conflict is mainly a negative thing *cough, cough – Anthony*. The next time conflict presents itself to you, take a moment to evaluate the situation and you just might see that it’s a positive thing.
Until next time loves…
This is SUCH a good lesson!
Thanks love 😘
This was really good. Lord knows I’m ready for some change. I needed this word sis! Great job.
Awww so happy I could help. Looking forward to see what’s in store for you. You’re doing some great things!!!
This is a good one Sheena!! Sometimes I find myself trying to quickly resolve something so it doesn’t escalate when in reality it probably wasn’t that deep to begin with!
Yep, sometimes it’s not lol. Thanks for reading! ❤️
I try to avoid conflict when possible, but I don’t fear it. If I have to speak up about something, I do. But I try to think first to see if it’s even worth it. LOL!
Good job. Good advise. Good wisdom.
Great post Sheena! We are definitely guilty of trying resolve conflict too quickly. We love your point of view about it! ❤
Thanks for reading. ❤️❤️
Babe and I are in therapy and I must say conflict has been the greatest catalyst for our growth. I’ve been guilty of avoiding conflict sometimes.
I absolutely love reading your blog and following your family. Love that y’all are growing even stronger together.
Conflict is necessary and conflict is important. It’s hwo you deal with and navigate the conflict that is important, especially since it is inevitable.
It’s so necessary
I definitely agree that not all conflict is negative. I’m using some conflict right now to push me in a more positive direction. I think that at the end of the day a lot of us have to stop being afraid of conflict and just learn how to respond/handle it better. It’s a part of life that you can’t avoid.
I’m so happy you’re using it to push you towards a positive
Great post! I always say there is a lesson to be learned in conflict. Listen to what’s being said from both sides and be open.
Yes, you’re so right!
This was so good and so true. Never thought about conflict that way and it has changed my perspective.
As usual great post!
Thanks for reading!!!
I love your number 1 point. There are times when you need to calculate when you begin conflict. Some times there isn’t always a good time, but there are red flags when it should be avoided.
Yes, definitely watch the red flags
Sometimes you have to deal with conflict in order to get to the end goal of the resolution stage. Awesome post!
These are all really good points! I love how you said that conflict can be a vehicle of change, I really never looked at it like that, but it’s so true!
I needed to do more of this in my marriage. I don’t plan to be married again but I have definitely worked on speaking up and dealing with conflict. head on in all areas of my life.
Yes, conflict is tricky topic
Good relationship advice. Conflict isnt always bad it can actually fix a lifetime of issues if dealt with head on.
This was so good! Seriously, your Truth Tuesdays are always on point. Conflict resolution is something I’ve been working on for what seems like forever. I used to always avoid conflict until I realized it wasn’t healthy or mature.
Thanks so much! Glad you’re working on it. We all need to do it.