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Happy Truth Tuesday! I know, I know I didn’t give yall not one single dose of truth the whole month of May. I’m back and I have a heavy dose of truth for you this week. I speak frequently about generational curses. One of the things I’m currently working on in therapy is to identify those curses and do the work to correct them. I’m not sure if it’s due to me being mindful about working on them or if life is saying, “hey Sheena this is your season to work on these things”. Either way, I’m here and they’re looking me square in the eyes so I must do the work. So, what happens when you’ve worked on one of your curses and then you’re tested? Lucky for you that’s what I’m discussing today.
A few months ago I walked into my therapist’s office and said, “it’s time for me to remove “Dan” from my life”. I’ve talked about “Dan” for many years so this wasn’t shocking news to my therapist. In a society where we celebrate and share life’s huge moments with the world via social media, this was not one of those things I would make a status about and provide deep insight to explain my decision. It was more of an internal release, and although it was a bit scary, I felt at peace.
My current work has taught me that I have abandonment issues. I was abandoned as a child, and like most things you don’t heal, they come back to haunt you. I’ve slow danced several times with abandonment, and slowly but surely I started to believe I was disposable. Since this type of thought started to form in my childhood, I had plenty of years where I fully believed that I wasn’t worthy of love. I mean any type of love. Let that sit with you for a second. When I was younger, one person didn’t feel I was important enough to show me love, affection and attention, so the adult me held on to it as if it were true.
I bet you’re wondering, “Sheena, what about that test you mentioned?”. What happens with “Dan” falls on hard times and others tell you that you should do the right thing and be there for “Dan”? I had to have several conversations with myself and decided that my mental clarity, health and wellness were more important that any other person on this Earth including “Dan”. I had to ask myself if you do as others say you should what will you get out of being there for “Dan”? My answer, I would once again feel that “Dan” wins because I felt forced to come to his aide when he has never done that for me. Then, I asked myself, what would “Dan” gain from me? He would think his actions throughout the years were correct, therefore if there is any hope that he will change, my being there for “Dan” wouldn’t be the catalyst of change for him.
I know it’s easy to say you’ve done the work and you’re slaying those generational curses, but then life has other plans. It hands you an envelope, and when you open it leaves you breathless. The thing with generational curses is they seem normal because that’s all you know. When you’ve worked on one of them and life hands you that envelope, be prepared to come up against judgement. The question you must ask yourself is, am I willing to sacrifice my mental stability for a person or situation that has caused me more harm than good? If the answer is no then buckle up and get ready for a bumpy ride, but know that when the smoke clears you’ll come out on the other side a better person.
I do not regret my decision not to show up for “Dan”, and not because “Dan” hasn’t ever shown up for me. It’s due to me identifying my abandonment issues, and pen pointing that “Dan” was the root of it. I know that by me slaying the generational curse of abandonment that I’m broken free from that curse as well as any child that comes after me. You must put yourself first despite the judgement you’ll receive from others because everything starts with you! You know the meme that states, if it costs you your peace, it’s too expensive. Well friends, showing up for “Dan” is too expensive for me at this time.
Until next time loves…
Yes I agree…we must uncovered past issues learn from them and move on. Thanks for sharing!
Yes ma’am you’re so right. Thanks for reading!
Hey doll!! When you mentioned we get used to the traumas of our past because that’s all we know. I completely felt that on a spiritual level. I’m happy you told everyone it’s okay to say know. I feel as a woman, especially a black woman, I used to feel obligated to be there for everyone but myself. Thank you for this reminder that we are humans and need to be healthy for ourselves first. Great post and very relatable beauty!!
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 yes ma’am!!! We must be there for ourselves first. ❤️
I know I say this all the time but thanks for sharing and being so open. You are helping so many people feel at ease by putting themselves first and doing the work to get there.
Awww thank you so much for continuing to read. I really appreciate it! ❤️❤️❤️
I swear I believe this is the season to address generational curses and internal conflicts we’ve suppressed over time. This post hit home for me in more ways than one. I’m very appreciative of your transparency and truth bombs! You’ve got this. Slay, Sheena, Slay!!!! 🙂
I’m so happy you were able to connect with this post. Yes I’m out here slaying these curses lol. Thanks for reading!!! ❤️❤️❤️
This was an excellent piece with a message so many need to hear. Nobody owes those who have deeply wronged them anything. Let go, heal, and move forward! Best wishes to you.
Yes!!! Don’t owe them anything!!!
Thank you Sheena for this post and your transparency! I just was talking to my therapist about generational curses, so this was right on time🙏🏿
Yes ma’am we’re slaying those generational curses and making things better for the next generation
YES! I had to laugh at the name “Dan” because one of these people in my life is actually named Dan. But I said no to him too! What is it about people named Dan?
😂😂😂 Dan!!! Thanks so much for reading.
I’ve been reading up on attachment theories and how we gravitate towards relationships as adults that we were denied as kids…what a great story on this in action!
I need to read on this but I can see it. Thanks for mentioning it. ❤️
Beautifully stated! Always important to get to the root at any said issues. So glad to know you’re getting the healing you deserve!
Thanks!!!
You better say this. I have people in my life that I have kept around because we have good vibes but at the end of the day they do cost me my peace and I’m tired of giving it away
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 me too!!!
Omg yes!! I love how openly you share about going to therapy especially how it can be so taboo now a days. I think it is great whenever we get over a hurdle in our lives. Get it girl!
XOXO,
CarnationDreams.com
Awww thank you so very much! 😘😘😘
Kudos to you for absolving yourself from the generational curse of abandonment. Hopefully, it helps you to move onward.
Thank you ❤️
I had years of anxiety, disappointment, resentment, abandonment and more. My “Dan” is named “Scottie”, I was dragging around baggage for 35+ years before I decided to tackle it. I know that saying no to others is saying yes to me. So I said yes, and I release literally a world of stress off of me at that moment. I let Scottie be who he is and I no longer allow who he is to cause stress in my life.
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 no to others means yes to me!!! I felt that. ❤️
I love this! If it costs you your peace it IS too expensive. Sometimes that may come across as selfish, but it’s really about maintaining and keeping boundaries. Kudos to you for being STRONG!
Yes ma’am maintaining boundaries
Oh generational curses. Why are we so prone do make the same mistakes or “choices” as those who came before us? We’ve got to be aware and change how we act.
Yep that’s why I’m not following them and working very hard to ensure the ones after me don’t either
What’s a powerful post. I have a friend like Dan, although I am not going to cut her off I think she always expects me to be there for her but doesn’t do the same for me. Sometimes removing yourself is best so that person can see all you hve done and what they took for granted. Also keep healing sis!
Yes, I definitely had to remove myself ❤️