No matter how long you’ve been in a relationship, you must always use your words. What exactly does that mean? Basically, it means to fully communicate your thoughts. Nothing starts an argument quicker than someone half-way expressing their thoughts/feelings. I feel I’m a pretty decent communicator, but I too fall short. This Truth Tuesday I want to talk to you about a disagreement Anthony and I had due to both us not using our words (initiated by me).
Most nights Anthony heads to the bedroom before me. I usually wait for him to get settled before I come bouncing in the room. The other night, I came bouncing in as usual, but then I made a very vague comment. The comment was true, but I made one huge mistake! I didn’t use my words. I blurted out the statement, and then said I’m going to bed. Anthony was totally confused, but also very sleepy. He mumbled something, and I said nevermind, don’t pay me any attention.
The next morning, as he was awaking me to say bye I could tell he wanted to talk. We both knew it wasn’t the right time, because I was out of it. A few hours later he text me asking if everything was okay with us. I’m like what is he talking about. He proceeds to tell me he’s been off all day due to my comments the night before.
The domino effect had begun! The night before, I communicated like a complete juvenile, and didn’t effectively explain to Anthony that my frustration was not with him or about us. My frustration was with a different avenue of my life. I started the domino effect because Anthony fed off my juvenile communication. He assumed I was referring to us instead of using his words and asking, “Sheena, does this have anything to do with us or our marriage?”
I sat at home with my phone in my hand knowing texting wouldn’t be a sufficient mode of communication to express my mistake. I asked Anthony to table this conversation until we could discuss later, and tried to ensure him it had nothing to do with us. But, we’re all human, and once you put a thought in someone’s head it’s difficult to get it out without looking them in their eyes to explain.
I’m on the couch, and I’m startled because I hear someone trying to open the front door. Yep, it was Antony with a dozen roses in hand. He came home on his lunch break to discuss our communication mishap. Our conversation didn’t take long. I was able to tell him I was wrong for making that statement without providing pivotal information. I also asked that in times when I fail to use my words that he pick up my slack by using his and asking questions to avoid assumptions. Don’t get me wrong, this situation was my fault, and I can admit and accept that!
Sometimes, we expect the ones closest to us to be able to read our minds. So, after last week’s mishap, this week I’m using ALL my words and then some. Basically, I’m back to normal, because I talk Anthony’s ears off most days. I always want to have a “what is life” type of conversation.
Have you ever forgotten to use your words?
Until next time loves…
Communication is key on relationships! Great blog!!
Thanks Lindsay ❤
I am guilty of this as well. Sometimes, I don’t use my words on purpose 😩. I know that those times I’m wrong and just being petty. It just prolongs the negativity. I must try to communicate even when I just really want to be mean lol.
It is hard sometimes lol
Awww, your hubby is the best! Communication can be difficult, especially when we’re overwhelmed with day to day stuff going on. I feel ya!
Yes, he’s the best and the day to day can definitely get to you sometimes
So good! I appreciate you sharing this. Using our words can be difficult at times because we just need to have a moment. It’s great you have a husband who gets it.
We’re pretty good at communicating but everyone has their moments
This post is spot on. It reminds me of something my parents told me when I first got married. They told me that marriage requires communication, but it also requires us to be psychic because there are a lot of things that go left unsaid. Thats why it’s also important to learn your spouse’s love language.
However, it doesn’t change the fact that communication will remain king. Great post.
I love that…love your spouse’s language
I didn’t communicate well in my relationship. This is so on point and it’s definitely necessary to use your words.
I agree, it’s necessary
I think we’ve all gone through this at some point and I’m constantly working on using my words and enhancing communication. Thank you for this reminder.
Thanks for being open to continue to work on it. We all should be doing it.
Pretty awesome post! Yeah building good communication habits will go a long way. I tell that to my kids all the time, but fall to the doom of being human myself. You are so right!
Thanks Dennis, glad to know I’m not alone in falling human at times
I’m not alone! I have a very bad habit of doing this thank you for walking me thru the process of how someone else deals with it.
It’s a constant thing lol
You better preach about communication. I believe in over communicating. Being married for 11 years and dating for over 15 it is the reason we have a strong bond.
Yes!!!!! It’s better to over communicate than to have words left unsaid.
Yep I sure have! You’re right in that one person kind of blows it off while the other replays the statement in their mind over and over until a resolution is presented.
You’re right, play it over and over and it gets bigger and bigger every single time
It’s funny, I’ve always heard use your words when it comes to kids. Never thought to use it in our adult relationships but it makes perfect sense!
Yes ma’am we must do it as adults too
Communication is really the key to having a successful relationship. It helps keep feelings in check so our sensitive natures are not bruised.
I love “so our sensitive natures aren’t bruised”
Being a good communicator is a struggle for me. I had a bad example of communication and it is hard to undo something taught so long ago. Despite that, I’m working on it and I see the difference it is making again.
The fact you’re working on it speaks volumes about you ❤
This! A major downfall in my last relationship was my communication. I would shutdown completely if I felt I wasn’t being heard or understood, instead of effectively communicating. I’m glad you two worked it out and kudos to him for not letting the day just go by without fixing the issue.
Thanks love! He’s really good at not letting us go too long without things not being resolved.
This is so true! I actually have no problem using my words, so I get super frustrated when I’m with someone who doesn’t, lol! Great post, well said.
Yes, I understand because I’ve had problems with others not using them with me
I am happy you were able to admit your lack of communication. I also believe in energy and your energy rubbed off on him, but I am happy you both were able to quicky resolved the miscommunication and that is what makes a good marriage.
Yeah we definitely feel and pick up on others engery
I love the fact that you are so open and raw with your viewers. People need to know that marriage is great but it’s not all a bed of roses all the time. I’m glad you recognized your mistake and attempted to solve and fix the issue.
Yes, marriage is awesome but it has its challenges