Images By Ivory Door Studio
A few years into Anthony and I dating I started saying, “love is a space created by two people”. I truly held on to this statement when traversing the unchartered waters of a romantic relationship. We were continuously butting heads, running into our separate corners then coming back just as guarded as when we left one another. Before I get too ahead of myself, let me tell yall about this Truth Tuesday. I want to talk to yall about creating spaces of love.
Last week, I hit you with a Maya Angelou quote and this week I have another one that stuck out when I was thinking about writing this piece, “love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope. That quote in itself is a WORD!!! It resonated with me because there’s no force on this Earth that can stop love. I could write a whole book about my love for Anthony. It’s easy for me to speak proudly about the valleys and peaks of our love story, but the other day I thought, “why can’t I do this about the love I have for myself?”
The love I give others recognizes no barriers. My love penetrates others’ walls even when it has no business doing so, but yet there are some days when I find it hard to love myself. My love to others is patient, kind and perseveres, but on any given Wednesday my self-love is inpatient, unforgiving and coarse. The love that’s so potent, pure and leaps the highest hurdles to connect to the hearts of others somehow takes days off when it’s time to project it inward.
I’ve thought about why this happens, and my best guess is that it’s easier to forgive others. Initially that thought sounds a bit crazy, but think about the last time you forgave someone. Now, think about the conversation you had with yourself. Did you think, “how did I let them do me like that or how did I let that happen”? I’m sure most of you answered yes.
Last week during therapy, I told my therapist I think I love others so deeply because that’s the kind of love I want from others. I’m fearless in my love of others. I believe we should teach others how we want to be loved, but in me teaching others I’ve neglected to teach myself. *Read that last sentence again*
I’ve acknowledged what I’m doing which is the first step. Next, I must love myself as fearlessly as I love others. How do I do that? I teach myself barrier by barrier until there are no longer anymore barriers for my self-love to leap over before it penetrates to its destination which is my own heart. I can create my own space of love. I’ll keep yall posted, and yall keep me honest on this subject.
How are you practicing self-love?
Until next time loves…
I practice self love just by making sure I give myself grace ( I don’t have guilty or doubtful thoughts) and space (I like alone ,self reflection time).
Those are great ways to practice self love
Wow, you have really touched on something here. We really do need to focus on understanding the way we need to be loved so we can teach others what we need.
Thanks! I think it’s very important.
Yes, you definitely need to show others how to love you. By the same token, even Jesus said to “love your neighbor AS YOURSELF”. That’s all the permission we need to practice a healthy level of self-love.
ππΎππΎππΎππΎππΎ love it
1. I am stealing that quote. I love it. Before we got into a relationship we identified what each other’s love language is. It has helped a lot.
Knowing love languages is so important
I have always loved myself, but I have made decisions that would suggest otherwise. I’m much older and wiser and more importantly aware. We did an exercise in therapy that touched on our love languages. I know what I like but it was hard to articulate. The exercise did it for me.
I think we need to do our love languages again to see if/how they’ve changed
For me self love means doing things I enjoy and taking classes like photography. I think it’s so important that we take time for ourselves. I had to learn self love.
I love your photography
This is good Sheena. I too tend to give love to so many others but often forget that I need to be loving myself that much more. Such an important lesson.
Thanks so much β€οΈ
This is something I’ve never really considered. I think I’m always so focused on trying to learn how to give the love those around me need in the way they need I have definitely forgotten about me. Thank you for giving me something to work and think on this week.
Yes, I think sometimes we forget to focus on ourselves
Youre similar to me because I felt like I love people hard and overambundant because I wanted that same love given back to me. This is good info as I think we pour so much loving energy into others that we forget to love ourselves in the same capacity I am definitely learning to do better.
This is good! Thanks for sharing. β€οΈ
As I got older I grew more aware of who I am, my value and more importantly owning it and how to communicate it to others. Now, I fond that though things are not perfect, I am happier.
Great perspective
I can relate to this SO MUCH. I love hard when it comes to loving others and I am JUST as hard on myself… in a non loving way. Iβm growing though and Iβm getting better.
I love everything about this post. I love my husband unconditionally and without barriers.
Thank you
Self love is so important, but as you said it is a process! I think it is easier for a lot of us to grant unconditional love to those around us while remaining self critical. Glad you’re on the road to where you want to be in your journey!