Image by Ivory Door Studio
Hey loves! It’s Valentine’s Day Eve, and let’s face it tomorrow will totally stress out some people. I know, I know single ladies don’t want to hear from the married girl about Valentine’s Day. This week for Truth Tuesday I want to talk about Single Sheena.
As I’ve previously said, Anthony was my first relationship so, at times that messed me up physiologically. I went through a lot of stages including, what’s wrong with me, comparing myself to other women in relationships, being critical of my physical appearance and so many others. I remember having countless conversations with my mom about it, and then feeling bad after the call because I felt my singleness was bringing her pain and shame.
I put a lot of time and energy into “figuring out” my singleness. Most times I would get upset with myself because I thought, “what are these tears for, you don’t even want to be married”. Which was true, but I really wanted the companionship. Some of my breakdowns are still very vivid. I clearly remember being in my apartment and walking down the “halfway” (yo, it was too small to really be a halfway) and I just broke down crying. I mean Voila Davis snot bubble from Fences type of crying. I was on that floor going through such a battle. The tears represented a release of emotions telling me everything would be okay while I was saying negative words to and about myself. I remember calling my mom and her sounding so defeated (yall, that’s probably when she decided to make my match.com page lol). I’ll never forget her saying, I love you and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you, but I get it my love isn’t enough in some instances, and this is one of them. (Have I mentioned how amazing my mom is?) I hung up and sat on the floor in silence, and thought about how I could turn things around. The tricky thing about desiring a relationship is, it’s not just you. Yep, I was sitting there wondering where and when he’d arrive. (Sidenote: little did I know I’d already met him years ago).
I tell you my story as encouragement! I get it, it’s real out there in those single streets. I did start going to therapy and it started to shape me into a better version of Sheena. I began to discard some of the “bad” parts while enhancing some of the “good” parts. I’m not going to lie and say I went to therapy and ta-da Anthony appeared in my FB inbox (yeah, that’s how he started contacting me. Thanks Mark Zuckerberg!) What I will say is it helped me understand myself better and made things a little easier during my single stage. Did I still have moments of crying on the floor? Hell yeah I did, but honestly they weren’t as harsh. Hang in there girl, your time is coming!!!
Here’s a cute “recipe” from Granny’s Conversations
You Can Endure Every “Single” Step!
1 cup of independence without choice
1 /2 cup of head held high
Directions: Blend together until you see beauty in your “single” journey
(check out Granny’s Conversations for recipes regarding ANYTHING you’re going through in life!)
Happy Valentine’s Day!!!
Until next time loves…
Thank you for your transparency. You give me hope.
There’s definitely hope!!! β€οΈ
Awwww this was just for Me!!!!
I’m glad you were able to connect. π
I love This. Thanks for sharing.
Glad you could connect
You are so honest and I love it. Your posts are truly helping people.
Awww thanks Lia. I truly appreciate that!!!
thank you for that reminder. I’m definitely in that season now. But this year I made it a point to just love on my family and the day didn’t get to me so much. I found myself able to be happy for my friends who have found healthy love and that wasn’t always the case.
That’s a great perspective to have. I’m glad you had a great time with family.
I never imagined that I’d be 38 and single. However, I decided, years ago, that I can’t fret over what’s not here…that I will treasure what’s present in my life at this moment.
That’s a great attitude to have
First of all I love your IG feed and looking at your cute couple photos! It gives me hope I am single but I am going to manifest my husband soon but until then I am ok single for now.
Thanks!!! I love your attitude. πππ
You said something in your post that stuck out at me and I think it is true for a lot of people, you didn’t really want to married but you desired companionship. Frankly most people aren’t willing to put in the requirements to have a healthy relationship because they can only wrap their minds around companionship and being served and not marriage and compromise.
You’re so right! Companionship and marriage are different. Marriage requires so much more from both parties.
This post took me back. I’m married now, but it definitely reminded me of what it was like to be single on valentines day even though I was never one to celebrate. You honesty is so refreshing.
It took me back too!!!
I totally agree that marriage and companionship are totally different, because once you get married that is where the work truly begins, and life’s challenges become very real!
That’s so true
I really appreciate the thoughtfulness of this post. Youβre such a sweetheart. Never change that about yourself.
Awww thanks so much. It means a lot.
I can appreciate your transparency, this will help someone who is in the process of going thru
Thanks, and I’m hoping it does.
Yes! Head held high. I’ve been thinking a lot about my journey back into being single and I’ve been becoming my new best friend. I totally miss having the intimacy of a shoulder rub or even pillow talk, but in its due time, the right one will find me.
Such a great attitude to have Courtney
That single recipe is cute and so true. Being single is a journey and for most it’s a journey that won’t last forever. It should be cherished and enjoyed.
The recipe was too cute. I actually went to happy hour with the girl that makes the cards last night.
I’m grateful that I worked on myself a lot before I met my husband. We were also friends for 5 years before we started dating. It helped things develop and grow.
Yes, such a great thing to do (work on yourself first).