Images By: Ivory Door Studio
It’s Stew, and I’m back to give you my last blog post on The HutchStew dating story. I decided to end it here (pre engagement/marriage) because several of yall have asked for a book or something a little more in-depth than blog posts. While I take the holiday season to think about it, I’ll let you know what I decide next year. So, Hutch will close this thang out next week. Let’s get into it!
Anthony expressed that he wanted to take a break, and I was hurt, offended and if I’ll let my ego speak for a second…I was in disbelief! I panicked and thought how can I put a band-aid on this to get him back. I knew I’d just manipulate him and the situation, but I wanted him back. In I Don’t Trust Myself Loving You, John Mayer says, “I will beg my way into your garden. Then I’ll break my way out when it rains. Just to get back to the place where I started, so I can want you back all over again (I don’t really understand)”. LISTEN, this whole part sums me up during our early dating life. I was just a ball of immaturity that constantly pushed the boundaries to see how far he’d go and how much he’d be willing to take. And when he had enough I’d “beg my way back into his garden”.
I would like to say during our break I was working on myself and trying to figure out my fault in the situation. Well yall, I didn’t! I had the mindset of I can’t believe he did this, and I need answers. I remember we spoke a few times, and he couldn’t give me the answers I requested. Then, one day I told myself to just leave it alone. The crazy thing is our break wasn’t even long. I can’t remember the exact amount of time, but I don’t think it was much longer than a month lol.
We got back together and one of us in all our immature glory had the nerve to utter the word marriage. I suggested we go to therapy, because clearly we couldn’t do this on our own. I spoke to my therapist and she said she couldn’t do it because we needed a “fresh start” with someone together, so she provided us with referrals.
Therapy was HARD, CHALLENGING, TENDER, SWEET, GRITTY, RAW, CONNECTION, PLEADING, but through it all LOVE showed up with us for every session. I’m sure she was one of the reasons we survived it. Her and our new-found friend Communication really got us over the finish line. Well, the finish line I established. During one session, I told Anthony and the therapist that this was all pointless and I wasn’t coming back. Guess what, I didn’t go back. IMMATURITY at its finest!
Although it ended abruptly, we really learned how to communicate, sympathize and empathize with one another because of couples’ therapy. We had a few more difficult months after therapy ended, but after that things started to fall into place. That’s truly when HutchStew was formed.
Hutch will hit yall with a dose of truth next week, and close this thang out.
Until next time loves…