Images By: Ivory Door Studio
It’s Stew, and I’m back to give you my last blog post on The HutchStew dating story. I decided to end it here (pre engagement/marriage) because several of yall have asked for a book or something a little more in-depth than blog posts. While I take the holiday season to think about it, I’ll let you know what I decide next year. So, Hutch will close this thang out next week. Let’s get into it!
Anthony expressed that he wanted to take a break, and I was hurt, offended and if I’ll let my ego speak for a second…I was in disbelief! I panicked and thought how can I put a band-aid on this to get him back. I knew I’d just manipulate him and the situation, but I wanted him back. In I Don’t Trust Myself Loving You, John Mayer says, “I will beg my way into your garden. Then I’ll break my way out when it rains. Just to get back to the place where I started, so I can want you back all over again (I don’t really understand)”. LISTEN, this whole part sums me up during our early dating life. I was just a ball of immaturity that constantly pushed the boundaries to see how far he’d go and how much he’d be willing to take. And when he had enough I’d “beg my way back into his garden”.
I would like to say during our break I was working on myself and trying to figure out my fault in the situation. Well yall, I didn’t! I had the mindset of I can’t believe he did this, and I need answers. I remember we spoke a few times, and he couldn’t give me the answers I requested. Then, one day I told myself to just leave it alone. The crazy thing is our break wasn’t even long. I can’t remember the exact amount of time, but I don’t think it was much longer than a month lol.
We got back together and one of us in all our immature glory had the nerve to utter the word marriage. I suggested we go to therapy, because clearly we couldn’t do this on our own. I spoke to my therapist and she said she couldn’t do it because we needed a “fresh start” with someone together, so she provided us with referrals.
Therapy was HARD, CHALLENGING, TENDER, SWEET, GRITTY, RAW, CONNECTION, PLEADING, but through it all LOVE showed up with us for every session. I’m sure she was one of the reasons we survived it. Her and our new-found friend Communication really got us over the finish line. Well, the finish line I established. During one session, I told Anthony and the therapist that this was all pointless and I wasn’t coming back. Guess what, I didn’t go back. IMMATURITY at its finest!
Although it ended abruptly, we really learned how to communicate, sympathize and empathize with one another because of couples’ therapy. We had a few more difficult months after therapy ended, but after that things started to fall into place. That’s truly when HutchStew was formed.
Hutch will hit yall with a dose of truth next week, and close this thang out.
Until next time loves…
The break for a month would have felt like a lifetime to me…. So glad you both got back together and can communicate much better. Great story!
Yes, it seemed a lot longer than what it was lol
It’s beautiful to evolve and grow with another human. Happy for you! And I enjoy your writing. It made me want to read the next word.
There are many ways that I played the victim in past relationships and it took therapy to help me heal and learn that I am the Master of my fate.
Yes, therapy was the key for me to grow/evolve and change!!! I’m glad you could make a connection.
It’s hard to admit our faults in regards to relationships. I know I’m still working on mine. This gives me positive hope. Thank you.
So happy you were able to find hope within our story. It was shaky in the beginning but it got better.
I am loving your story!! Often times we don’t want to admit our faults. I can’t wait to hear the rest of this story.
Yes, it can be so difficult to admit our faults at times. Thanks so much for reading! ❤️
I’m always so intrigued when couples say they “took a break”. Like are you broken up completely? Seeing other people? Just not talking? No judgement, just genuine curiosity. During the month-long break did you just make it a mission not to see each other or do the things you did together while in the relationship? I need to go back and catch up on all of the other stories because I’m invested now lol
It was basically like we were still together just not talking every day and going on dates. We weren’t seeing other people. Before we took our break and people would say they were on a break I’d think…so y’all aren’t together right??? So I totally understand your questions because I had them too lol. Yes, please go back and read the whole series. It starts at “Stew Rewinds Time” posted on October 23rd. Thanks for reading! ❤️❤️❤️
It’s so hard to admit our faults I had a hard time doing that even when it was given to me on a silver platter but we are not perfect. My hubs and I went to therapy and it didn’t work for us but I learned so much
Yes, I leaned a lot myself
I suck at admitting when I’m wrong in a relationship. It is painful and I don’t even know why. I admit it easily with the kids.
It can be very painful
I felt all of this. My husband and I break was over a year. A year of no talking or anything. I should’ve went to therapy then, but I had the same attitude as you.
I’m glad y’all made it through but I know that was tough
Sometimes it’s good to have those rocky moments before marriage. It’s a small taste of future tests and can either strengthen or reveal the level of a couple’s resolve to each other.
Yes, I agree
I love reading about your journey simply because you talk about all aspects of marriage, not just the warm fuzzy aspects of relationships. I’m so glad that you all went and recommend therapy. People use to go to pre-marital counseling but I think its good to keep going throughout the marriage
Thanks so much for reading! I try to be open and honest.
I really liked hearing that you all went to therapy prior to marriage. My husband and I went to counsel before marriage too and 13 years later we are still happy and together so I believe it made a difference.
It really made a huge difference
I so have loved reading your love story every week! It was interesting to read about your couples therapy experience. I think writing a book would be awesome!
I’m thinking hard on the book. Thanks for reading! ❤️
You hear ‘communication is key’ all the time, but the truth is so many of us don’t know how to do it effectively. We need help a lot of times because we think we know, but we have no idea how badly we communicate with our partner. Something I’m working on to.