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I’m often asked about my ability to be vulnerable. Until now, I’ve responded with the same answers. 1. I’ve had tons of therapy. 2. I have no shame. 3. Whatever I’m going through someone else has already overcome it. Last week my therapist asked if I’ve ever blogged about shame. I said, the theme is woven into a lot of my posts, but I’ve never dedicated a whole post to the topic. This Truth Tuesday I’ll be discussing how one of my top 3 answers is incorrect and my current battle with shame.
This weekend I listened to one of Oprah’s Super Soul Conversations Podcast. It was the episode titled “Rising Strong” and Oprah’s guest was Brene Brown. One line that struck a chord with me was “Vulnerability is the best measure of courage”. I immediately thought, wow that’s so true because every time I pull out my laptop and write a vulnerable blog post I finish feeling courageous. Vulnerability is the killer of shame! As I’m able to be open and honest with yall it slowly releases the power shame has over me. I’ve changed my thoughts from I have no shame to…although I have shame my vulnerability is more powerful and pushes me to share.
It’s quite ironic that I’ve been saying I have no shame, and the current reason I’m in therapy deals largely with shame. Remember the blog Signed Sincerely Yours, Tribeless? I’m still dealing with the effects of not having a tribe/squad/circle of friends. This has been a very shameful thing for me this year. I listened to a podcast by one of my favorite bloggers and she stated if you’re in your 30s and don’t have friends that is a red flag for her. I obsessed over that comment for DAYS!!! I would sit and break down my life piece by piece trying to figure out what’s wrong with me and why people weren’t willing to have me as a valuable part of their life and share those amazing intimate moments, memories and experiences.
I’m constantly at some type of event and I meet a lot of people. I feel shame every single time someone mentions their best friend, and I think I don’t have one (besides Hutch). I feel shame because it’s summertime and I’m on social media scrolling through TONS of girls trip pictures. I feel shame when people ask me about having a baby, (YALL FOR REAL STOP ASKING ME!!!!!) and I think about not being able to have a baby shower because I have no friends to throw me one. I feel shame when people mention their amazing, encouraging group texts. I carry a huge load of shame around this subject and a lot of self-doubt. But, one of the most beautiful things about me is I’m NOT afraid to feel. That allows me to honestly and openly share my feelings (including shame) with all of you.
So, the next time someone asks me how I’m able to be so vulnerable, I will no longer say it’s because I have no shame. Instead I’ll say my superpower is vulnerability and that easily defeats shame any day of the week.
Is shame a topic that rears its ugly head in your life?
Until next time loves…
Love this post. Very vulnerable. I’d attend your baby shower, btw (and that’s the last time I’ll mention baby). Thanks for sharing!
I’ll put you on the list! I don’t recall you ever mentioning it to me.
As always love your post. You never really know what someone struggles with. I am shocked at your truth because to me you have a great personality! I know it is not the same but you have a friend in me ☺️ I too have a shame. Several actually now that I am thinking about it. One big one is my pride and the feeling of lonelieness. I have never said it out loud though lol May have to have this as one of my Dear Queen letters!
You’ve been such a blessing!!! Thanks so much for supporting me. I really hope we’re able to meet at the conference in October. Thanks for being open and sharing your shame. You sharing has lessened the power it has over you. ❤️❤️❤️
I would like to say that we have a been a blessing to each other! After looking at the date I don’t think I am going to be able to make it but definitely we should meet up soon!
Thank you again Sheena for another amazing post. I DO indeed remember the post you cited where you mentioned you needed a tribe. Looks like you and I are working on that.
Regarding friendships. The truth is, it takes YEARS to build a solid one. All those whom I consider true friends have been in my life for 17 years or MORE! Yes, I’ve forged other friendships during that time, but those are still in the “test stage”. Just be cautious and observant and move slowly.
True friends are like diamonds to be cherished; but keep in mind that you have to sift through a lot of rocks to find them, and after all that work, only find a few will make the cut.
This blessed my soul for real! Thanks so much for your kind words. 😘😘😘
Great post! Wow, I really learned a lot about you. Sorry for asking about planning for a baby, if you ever feel baby fever, please come over, I have twins that will change your mind for sure.
I feel strong friendships can develop at any stage of life and it doesn’t take years to build but rather chemistry and discernment. I will look forward to your next post!
I’m so blessed to have met you recently ❤️
I want to say no, but I don’t think that’s 100% honest. I am a rather open book and I generally own up to my ish. But I know some shame exist.
You’re definitely ahead of the game but I’m not surprised due to me reading your blog and Instagram posts ❤️
I can’t say shame is a big part of my life but it is around. I push through and make life happen in spite of.
Yes ma’am that’s what we all should do ❤️
Thanks for being so transparent, I’m sure plenty of people can relate! I’m sure your tribe will come because you connect with so many people through your awesome blog!
Thanks so much ❤️
I have two best friends. We haven’t done a girls trip in forever because the dynamics of our personal relationships have changed. Instead, we do family trips. I don’t think you should feel shame in that your husband is your best friend. A best friend is just that no matter the sex or role in your life.
I love the idea of family trips. Thanks so much!!! ❤️
Great post as always. Your truth amazes me every Tuesday.
I hope you consider me a part of your tribe and if not we need to work on that. And if there ever is a baby shower I’m there with the cake or cupcakes. 😁
Thanks for so supportive and encouraging 😘😘😘
Girl please dont feel shame about all of those instagram worthy massive girls trips. I think its great to have female friends but I do believe many of those cute shots are just for the ‘gram. Also dont let people make you feel shame not having a baby, its always something with people. You will have a baby and not even 1 week old people will say when will you have baby #2 lol
Thanks love 😘😘😘
I try to release shame as often as I can. For me shame can be a barrier to my progress because when I’m there I tend to dwell there. I allow myself to release it because I understand if it weren’t for the things in my past (good and bad) I wouldn’t be the person I am now.
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 such great insight