Images By Ivory Door Studio
Saturday Anthony and I were driving back home from a quick birthday road trip to Atlanta, and I came up with an idea for the blog. I was inspired by Love and Basketball (story was told in four quarters) as well as the Own series Love Is (the couple tells their story). Over the next few weeks, we’ll both be sharing our side of the HutchStew story. Since it was my idea, I told Hutch I’d start this thang off. So, grab some tea or wine and get ready to go on this adventure with us. I’m sure we’ll both learn things about each other we didn’t know. I do also know old wounds have the possibility of being irritated, but in the end this series will only make us stronger.
The year was 2010, and if you’ve read some of my previous posts then you know that was a very pivotal year for me. I was a young 20 something living alone working a dead-end job. My social life was good, I always had something to do and someone to do it with. I spent most of my time with one really good friend, and we literally did everything together. To combat the negative feelings I had with my job I started to volunteer about 5 times a week. I also started therapy as a way to “fix” all the anger I was carrying.
My dating life was non-existent, and if you forgot please read Single Sheena. I communicated with a few guys, but often times my views on gender roles were an issue so they all went nowhere fast. I was in a weird place, and I would’ve given anything for a quick fix to get me out of that job, take my anger away and find me a mate. But instead, I was gifted the slow journey of breaking down barriers in therapy.
The first barrier I tackled was my anger. I’ve told the story of not being able to find my car keys and I started to punch and kick the wall. Yeah, that’s how intense my anger was back then. During my sessions, I realized my anger was attached to my childhood sexual abuse that I never dealt with or even spoke about to others. I remember feeling so free once I was able to actually talk about it. I saw how it shaped a lot of my decisions in life, but also how I had the power to make my own decisions moving forward.
The second barrier I tacked was my anger towards my dad. Our relationship is a whole blog post and then some. But, for now just know in therapy I was able to break that relationship apart and find a way to heal without receiving what I wanted from him. In both situations I discovered sometimes you have no control over how people treat you, but you must find something within you that helps you resolve things internally and move forward as a better person. Although I wasn’t anywhere near where I wanted to be, I felt a shift and that was enough for me to continue to move forward.
Then, October of 2010 came around and little did I know my life was about to change forever.
I had to leave you with a cliffhanger to ensure you come back for the rest of the story lol.
Until next time loves…