Images By Ivory Door Studio
Y’all remember my blog post The Lump In My Breast? That whole ordeal was very scary, and truth be told I’m still dealing with it. I recently went back to the doctor in March for another ultrasound and visit with the surgeon. I have another appointment scheduled for December where I’ll have an ultrasound, mammogram and visit with the surgeon. I’m assuming this is just my new normal. I dare not complain about my situation because I’m blessed that fibrocystic breasts isn’t life threatening. This journey has made me think more about my breasts and how much they’ve played a pivotal part in my life. This Truth Tuesday I’m talking about the scar tissue both visible and non-visible that’s associated with my breasts.
In order to understand the full story, I have to go back to third grade. I started wearing a training bar at the age of 9. I know I wasn’t the only one, but I was definitely in the minority. I think this was the start of my dislike of my breasts. During my time in high school they were a solid 36 C, but to my surprise they went up a size my freshman year of college. Due to my discomfort with them, the majority of the time they stay pretty covered.
I was recently at an event, and it was one of those rare occasions when the girls were visible. I had a few people make comments. Hey, I get it, that’s unusual for me so I slightly understand why people said something. I asked a few of them to please not comment on them because it made me VERY uncomfortable. Mostly, my wishes were granted, but there were a few times when it wasn’t and again I was VERY uncomfortable. Because I am a thinker, I wanted to dig deeper into my relationship with my breasts. I discovered a few things I already knew, but for whatever reason didn’t want to admit.
First, I’ve felt slightly uncomfortable with my breasts from the beginning due to me being one of the early bloomers. The second thing that came to mind and it’s probably the most influential, my child abuse. I have repressed the majority of images, but when I do have flashbacks it’s always of my breasts being touched. I mean it’s vivid, I can see it as I type this. I’ll eventually write a full Truth Tuesday on my abuse, but for now just know having my breasts violated played a huge role in why I have this relationship with them. Part of my emotional remnants of abuse was shame and body image issues. I was already ashamed that I developed fast, and then you throw abuse on top of that and you have a recipe for disaster. That’s the thing about abuse, you can heal from it, but the emotional scar tissue is always there even if it lies dormant.
Fast forward to me finding the lump in my breast last year, a day before Thanksgiving. I mean that just made me say, “hey, right breast you’re okay, but left one I really hate you at this point”. From November – March I continued to do my self exams, and I continued to find more lumps. During my ultrasound in March, I was showing them where the lumps where and I felt yet another one. Of course I panicked, but the ultrasound was “normal”. Well, normal for me. Now, I have one breast with multiple lumps, a visible scar from my biopsy and my breasts hurt like heck during that “special time” of the month. Due to this, I’ll continue to get these lumps checked out to make sure everything is okay.
Honestly, I’ve been thinking about asking my surgeon if I can have them both removed, because they carry so much emotional baggage. I have both visible and non-visible scar tissue regarding my breasts, so I ask that if you see me in the public and I by chance have the girls showing find a way to compliment me without making a big deal about them. At the end of the day, they’re more than just breasts to me. They have a lot to do with the evolution of Sheena!
Do you have any type of scar tissue?
“Scarring is a natural part of the healing process”
Until next time loves…
Thank you for always sharing your truth. I know you are helping so many people.
Awww thanks ❤️
Thank you for sharing this. We all have scar tissue. Mine is in the form of triggers that stir my anxiety and ptsd from a few years ago when my home was broken into while I was sleeping. These things are part of us and we just find a new way of living with them but they never go away completely. Thank you for sharing this Sheena. xo
I’m sorry to hear about your experience and you’re right things stay with us
Oh my gosh Sheena! I truly admire your transparency. Your truth really hit home for me because I too have visible and non visible scars about my breast that brings about a whole lot of emotions and insecurities I hide on an everyday basis. Even though the situation at hand isn’t the best, it’s good to know that there’s someone out here that understands. This was a great read and again THANK YOU for sharing your truths.
I’m sorry to hear about your scars but happy that I can provide some type of comfort by letting you know you’re not alone ❤️❤️❤️
I have a scar having a C-section then I had a tummy tuck 4 years ago but they cut over the existing scar.. It use to bother me but now I’m like whatever.. I think I look pretty good to be 48 years old and if the only thing wrong is a scar below my panty line I’m doing ok
You look amazing!!! Glad your scar didn’t define you. You’re such a strong woman.
Hi Sheena! I hope everything continues to go well with exams. I have a great amount of scar tissue because my skin keloids. Numerous surgeries on my ears after piercing. A visible one on my neck. A c section scar. It bothered me in my teens,and 20s. I let it go in my 30s and at soon to be 45, my scars are part of my beautiful imperfect self.
Leslie, thanks so much for sharing your scars. I’m so happy your let them go and you’re embracing all of your beauty. ❤️
What an honest piece. Dealing with scar tissue can be a challenge but at least it mean you have healed from something else. At least that’s what I try to tell myself, that could have been worse.
Yes, it’s all about healing ❤️
Thank you for sharing this. I feel like I need to revisit some things and look for the scarring in order to heal it. It’s really fascinating the things we bring with us from childhood into adulthood. It just goes to show how important that stage of our lives is to our development.
Yes ma’am childhood plays such an important role in our lives
Thank you for sharing your story. Thank god is wasn’t worst than what it is. I get the scars hold not so nice memories for you. But look at them as battle survivor scars.
Yes, use them to heal
I’m glad your exams have turned out well. I do not have any scar tissue but I am definitely more aware of my body and any changes I notice.
I’m so glad you don’t have any physical or emotional scars. That is awesome!
Oh my. Your story sounds very much like mine. I would even wear a 2nd shirt and tuck it tightly trying to flatten my chest. As I grew older, I gained an appreciation for my body.
Thanks for being open, honest and sharing. ❤️
I personally don’t have scar tissue, just stretch marks. When I was in high school my roommate found a lump in her breast, it was benign but she has a car now. One of my sisters had the same thing happen and also has a scar. Thanks for sharing your story it has caused me to think more about my breast health.
So happy you don’t have any scar tissue. Happy your friends and family are doing well.
Thank you for being transparent regarding your scar tissue. I am sure there are others can relate in some way or fashion. We are more than our body parts so that would make me really uncomfortable as well if they become the topic of discussion all the time. Thanks for sharing!
Yes, I’m like talk to me not about my breasts. Thanks for reading.
I understand how that can be a tough thing for you. Kudos to you for doing your self exams. I need to be more consistent in that area. I’m still learning where my scar tissue is from life.
I think we’re all still learning as we’re exposed to different things in life
I really appreciate your honesty and truth. My motto is “Transparency Wins Hearts” and you sharing your story will absolutely win the hearts of others as we not only empathize, but understand and learn. Thank you!
Yes!!!! I love “transparency wins hearts”
I shared on your Instagram my own story of scar tissue. I found my lump at 15 and the second at the age of 16. Exactly 1 year apart. I had surgeries for both and have been super aware since then. My scar tissues from life are very similar int hat many of them are genetic – passed down through generations. I work daily to be aware of them and how to avoid allowing them to limit me in life and growth.
Thanks so much for your openness and honesty. I’m so glad you’re doing well. ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing about your issue with your breast and scar tissues. I am sorry you went through some abuse as a child over it and hope you can also heal from that.
Thanks so much love ❤️