Images By Ivory Door Studio
We’re back from Denver, CO where we celebrated our 2nd wedding anniversary. Last year, we went to Cancun and frolicked on the beach. Let’s not talk about us being at the wrong resort all week, and politely getting kicked out on our last day lol. That’s another story for another day. This Truth Tuesday I’m discussing the beauty in loving someone through their pain.
Last week, Anthony and I had a conversation and we both agreed on an adventure. Later, when it was time to go and I said, “I’ll pass”. He wanted to know why since we had already discussed our plan. Initially, I lashed out and said, “Yo, I can change my mind about whatever I want, whenever I want”. Usually, when someone lashes out it’s not about the other person, but instead about them. Well, in this case my lashing out was definitely about me. Hey, it’s Tuesday so I’m going to be 100% honest with yall!
I had an insecurity creep up on me, and I didn’t have time to process it before it was go time for our adventure. After a few minutes of self-reflection, I was able to somewhat express my insecurities to Anthony. Remember the blog post Without Conflict There’s No Change? I had to remember that even though I expressed myself and was ready to move towards resolution, that didn’t mean Anthony was ready to forgive me and move forward with having meaningful dialogue.
There are many layers to this situation. First, I was wrong for lashing out at Anthony about my own stuff. Secondly, I was wrong. I was struggling and sometimes (although it’s difficult) we must love someone through their pain. Before you say Sheena, how can you turn this on Anthony, you were in the wrong. Let me once again say, I WAS WRONG!
I was unsuccessful (at the time) at getting Anthony to see that although he was right, it was more important to love me through my pain. Don’t get me wrong, I’d be lying if I said every time I’m in this type of situation I rise above my fleshly feelings and choose unconditional compassion over shouting to the rooftops “BUT, I WAS RIGHT”!!!
So, I’m giving yall homework today. The next time someone has wronged you, but you clearly see it was due to their hurt/pain/shame, take a moment and step outside of your flesh and move in the spirit of compassion. I’m not asking you to be pushovers or give people unlimited chances that they don’t deserve. I’m asking that you give mercy and grace to someone you love/care about that is visibly hurting in that moment.
I’m publicly going on the record and asking Anthony to forgive me for my behavior. I’m also asking yall to choose compassion and remember to love others through their pain.
Until next time loves…