Images By: Ivory Door Studio
Hey, it’s Hutch, and I’m back to give you this week’s edition of Truth Tuesday. I’ll continue the story, give my thoughts on our first date and the things I was struggling with during our early dating life.
After countless Facebook messages and a few texts, Sheena and I finally lined up our first date. I thought an arcade would be cool since I remember her being competitive from college (she still is). I was really excited about our date…then it happened smh. As Sheena told you last week, the date was a complete mess. From the start, it was apparent she didn’t want to be there, which was confusing since we had gotten along pretty well leading up to the date. I hadn’t been on a date like this before. It was awkward from the beginning and I was ready to go about 15 minutes after arriving. Midway through the date I told myself there was definitely not going to be another date with her. But, towards the end of the date, things started to change, we started having decent conversation and I started to think date number two could possibly happen.
We decided to meet up a few weeks later to watch movies, and it went better than our initial date. After a few more dates, I remember thinking I’d like to see where things could go between us. There was one problem, me. In the beginning I was more aggressive in my pursuit of Sheena, but if I didn’t get the response I wanted or a situation made me uncomfortable, I was pushed into flight or fight mode. At that age, I wasn’t equipped to fight, so I did what was comfortable which was to take flight. Although, her approach was very raw and unfiltered at that time, it still forced me to think, feel and go places emotionally that I wasn’t ready to go. I had been in a few other relationships, and I learned lessons from each, but those lessons still didn’t properly prepare me for my encounters with Sheena. She was different than any other woman I had dated, and different from how I pictured my future wife to be.
My “taking flight” actions were never meant to be done in a disrespectful way, but at that time I didn’t know what else to do. I felt completely comfortable kicking it with my friends and creating memories. Deep down I knew these times were slowly coming to an end, because we’d all start to get married and have kids. It wasn’t a matter of me choosing them over her, because I honestly could’ve done both. It was more so feared based, I knew I’d have to continue to grow and change at a more rapid rate if I started spending more time with Sheena and incorporating her into more of my life. I felt Sheena and I could build something special, but I was selfish and wanted to have things fit my life a certain way, and I didn’t take her feelings into consideration. I had some growing up to do, and little did I know she was just the right person to have by my side as I made my transition. The problem is, neither of us knew the amount of turbulence we were about to encounter.
Sheena will hit yall next week. I’ll talk to yall soon!