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Hey yall, it’s Stew, and I’m back this Truth Tuesday to pick up where Hutch left yall last week.
After Anthony wished me happy birthday on Facebook I went to his page and noticed he updated his profile picture. CHIIILLLEEE, that picture got me (see below). I thought, wait, I don’t remember him looking like this in college. He had gained a little weight and had a baby beard, and I thought well damn when did this happen. I text him to say thanks for telling me happy birthday and also asked if he was doing anything for Homecoming. By the way, I was headed to Atlanta to celebrate my birthday so I had no plans on going to Homecoming, but hey I had to try and make conversation.
A month later we finally went on our first day, and it was a complete MESS!!! I wasn’t pleasant because I didn’t want to be there. I text my friend and asked her to come get me, but she refused. Towards the end of the date we finally sat down and had a decent conversation, and I was sure this was a wasted opportunity for me. I thought there was no way he’d ask me out again. A couple weeks later, we had a Netflix and Chill night. I don’t remember too much from that date other than thinking oh wow this might be my first relationship. Let me tell yall something. I had no clue the ride I was about to experience.
In my blog post Before HutchStew I talked about me imitating relationships I’d witness by watching fragmented people. I was absolutely clueless on how to conduct myself in a relationship. That’s why after a few dates I thought well this has to be it. But, as soon as I was ready to let myself go and see what this relationship had in store, Anthony flipped the switch and went from heavily pursuing me to I’ll see you when I see you. He was never aggressively disrespectful, but there were moments I felt he was being very nonchalant about what could be with us.
Remember when I said I was imitating others? Well, what I’d previously seen is other women taking what they could get especially if he was a “nice guy”. I thought, he’s really nice and he isn’t disrespectful so I can stay around to see where this goes. Add that with the fact I was in my 20s and hadn’t experienced a romantic relationship so my self-esteem was pretty shot. I think a low for me is asking Anthony to hang out and he replied, he was going to hang out with his friends again that weekend because he needed to make memories. Honestly, it was more of how he said it than what he said.
I was very fragile at that time, and also very stubborn so this was the start of “I don’t give a F Sheena”. I picked myself up and decided I was worth more even if he was a “nice guy”. As yall know I was new to therapy so I didn’t have all the tools in my toolbox to help me successfully tackle what was next. Therefore I moved forward from a place of hurt, because I was in the middle of processing my past hurt that was inflicted from trauma. I made an emotional escape plan, but once again I was missing a few pieces so what happened next wasn’t pretty.
I’ll see yall in two weeks, but Hutch will hit you with a dose of truth next Tuesday.
Until next time loves…
Aww this post is so good! Can’t wait to read what’s in store for next week. But I’ve definitely been in that type of situation of imitating other relationship and being so anxious when things didn’t go the way I planned.
Yes, very anxious because this didn’t go how I wanted them to go
This was right on time for me! I do find myself imitating other relationships or not even knowing what it’s supposed to look like!! I can’t wait for the next post.
Yes ma’am, we do what we see ❤️
Humbling to watch the process unfold, and learn as I watch…
Thanks for taking the journey with me ❤️
This Truth Tuesday reads like a soap opera but in a good way. Its like seeing and hearing the drama unfold and you really draw me as a reader in. Well written.
LOL, thank you ❤️
This is a great story and message. Looking forward to the next part.
Awww thanks ❤️
Can’t wait to see next weeks post. It’s always cool to hear guys speak on the topic of relationships.
I can’t wait either lol
Girl! We have egos and feelings too. I have been the “Fine, I bet I show you” type of girl. Ha!
Yes ma’am! I was definitely there
I love you guy’s story so much! But somewhere somehow you took a chance, but I guess I have to [impatiently] wait to find out.
LOL yes it’s coming. Thanks for reading
We need this in a televised series. So good. All the truth on relationships. And yes looking at other’s relationship is definitely a no no.
You’re so right
Imitating relationships never turn out as expected in my own experience. Disappointed always sneaks it’s way in. I look forward to reading what happens next.
Yes disappointment definitely snuck up on me
I need to go back and catch up on last week! This was pretty good and in the dating world, Im sure we have all been here. My motto after my ex was “I can show you better than I can tell you”
Yes, that’s definitely where I was at that stage
I think a couples book in the future would be awesome for you. I like that each week you are growing and learning from your past traumas to have a better relationship with your husband.
Thanks so much love ❤️
I love you these posts! I feel like ive always strived to avoid imitating the relationships ive seen around me because they have all been DYSFUNCTIONAL. I cant wait to read next week. Thank you for sharing your story
Yes, that was my mistake lol
I am seriously loving this series!!! Can’t wait to continue reading how your love story unfolds!
Thanks for reading