Image by Ivory Door Studio
In 1997 Will Smith released his album Big Willie Style. Before you judge me, I was young sheesh. The album was decent, and there are a few songs I will listen to every once in a while. Music is so important in my life, and I often find little nuggets from songs. So, this Truth Tuesday I’m telling you about the nugget I found in Will Smith’s song “Just the Two of Us”. Towards the end of the song Will says, throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad. Let God deal with the things they do, ’cause hate in your heart will consume you too.
We’re all humans, and that means we’re made of flesh and bones mixed with a ton of emotions. Sometimes we get caught up in our flesh and emotions, but the key is not to be consumed by them. I can recall countless times when I’ve felt wronged by another person. I’ll even admit some of those times I held a grudge, and harbored ill feeling towards someone. If I’m being completely honest, some of those things were my fault. But for the times when I was really wronged, I had the horrible habit of letting hate consume me. And if I’m being REALLY honest, that hate would some times be very thick and ongoing.
Listening to that song the other day (don’t ask me why I did lol), made me reflect on how true those words are and how I used to be that person. So, how did I learn not to let hate consume my heart? There were two things that helped me change.
The first one is, I grew up! Sounds simple, but we all can attest that some times growth is difficult. As I grew my use of my emotions did as well. It was easier to live in the positive emotions than the negative ones. Don’t get me wrong, I still visit the negative ones from time to time, but my time there is never longer what my weekender bag can handle.
The second thing I’ve learned is actions change your mood/feelings/vibes. There used to be a girl that truly worked my nerves. I would talk to my mom about it, and she said every time she bothers you do something nice for her. I thought my mom was nuts, but it turned out to work like a charm. She started to soften, and I got all the feels while doing a good deed for someone even if it was initiated from negativity. All that mattered was in the end hate was no longer consuming my heart.
I do a lot of good deeds, and most of them come from a positive place. Although I can admit some are birthed from me grabbing my weekender bag and visiting negativity for a second. With the state of our country I think many of us should take the advice of my mom and do a good deed when you’re faced with hatred. One small gesture can lead to something powerful. As corny as it might sound, try to always spread love! When you’re vibrating at a higher frequency you have no time or space for hate!
Until next time loves…
Haha! I love your mom. I’ve always been a big believer of “kill them with kindness”. It totally blows their mind. There used to be a customer at work that everyone hated dealing with. By the time l left the store, she was my biggest fan and became such a sweet person. Love it!
I totally agree with this post 100% and definitely with the last paragraph. When I’m in my feelings about life or how someone wronged me, I switch my thinking around and do a good deed it always seems to switch my focus off of me and on to someone else. In that moment, I feel a lot better. Thanks for sharing…
I would have never thought to do what your mom said. I would have done the exact opposite and that wouldn’t have made the situation any better. I think I am going to take your moms advice because I know a few people who I can kill with kindness. Let’s see if things turn around?
Oprah recalls once she was harboring a grudge against someone. Then she saw that person walking down Michigan Avenue without a care in the world, with a big smile. That person was moving on with life and she remember she needed to move on too.
I remember the song but I don’t remember these lyrics. I think its true we should let God handle them it is certainly not our place to do so. Often times I wonder why people act the way the do and I become upset with the person but I have to remember that its there flesh that acts out and not necessarily therm (if that makes sense) Also some people have so much going on there life, they take it out on other people. The best we can do for them is talk or pray for them.
I have to admit this is something I’m still working on. Not quite there yet, but I do love the idea of doing good deeds for others. I think when we’re preoccupied with doing good, hate has no room to fester. Kudos to your mom for dropping those seeds of wisdom early on in your life.
I’m not quite here yet, I can mask it but my feelings on the inside are still there…so this is definitely something I am working on! Your mom is right kill them with kindness and keep moving!!
I needed this. I can hold grudges for days. It’s not cute, it’s not cool. I don’t know how to get out of my feels and move forward without a stank attitude.
I love that song, and you’re right, those few lyrics are too true! I love the advice your mom gave as well, thanks for sharing this positive reaction to negativity!
Whats so funny that song was randomly in my head recently too. That little nugget is right hate can consume you. I am make it more and more of my lifestyle to vibrate higher and higher and to not let little stuff make me mad.
I absolutely loved this post! First of all, I totally “rapped” that first verse in my head while reading it since I loved that song too. I can’t believe it came out in 1997.
More importantly your mom sounds like my mom. She always told me that when there is someone who upsets me to wish the best for that person, smile and do something nice. If that person doesn’t change their actions towards you’ll at least know you didn’t let hate take over.
This is a great post. I used to be in a place where I was extremely vindictive. If you did me wrong I would definitely get you back one day and somehow. These days, because stress does not suit me, I just let things go. I leave it all up to karma, God, and the universe, and it works.
After reading this, I’ve come to the conclusion that I need some self work lol I simply can’t always be nice to people who aren’t nice to me. Sometimes people are just that bitter where not even kindness can help. I was never a person who sought revenge or anything like that though. I just didn’t think certain individuals were deserving of my kindness. I wouldn’t bother them unless they bothered me. Lately, though, I’ve just been cutting negativity out of my life, period. Dealing is not an option for me anymore.
Shannon, you are correct sometimes you have to take care of you and just leave some people behind. We should definitely be careful of who we pick and choose to give our kindness too. Thanks so much for reading!