The year was 1998, and R Kelly released his album titled “R”. The fourth track was “Half on a Baby”. I mean it’s R Kelly so you can imagine a song called “Half on a Baby” has pretty explicit lyrics. If you haven’t heard the song basically it talks about a man and a woman going “half on a baby” (use your imagination).

Since the day Anthony and I said “I Do” (4-2-16) people have been CONSTANTLY asking “when are you having a baby”? I’m totally fine with someone asking me that question ONCE!!! That’s all I give you is ONE time! No follow-up questions or I’m liable to turn into Sean Spicer at the podium. Honestly, I don’t understand the concern about my ovaries (and other reproductive organs).

I’ve provided a list of reasons why it’s rude and disrespectful to constantly ask a woman about children. *I’m 100% positive you’ve heard this before*, but one of the many things I’ve learned in life is that repetition is key for some of us.

1. The couple could have fertility issues. You never know someone’s story. They could have been trying for months or even years without being successful. With fertility issues comes financial strain if you’re trying different ways to conceive. The woman could’ve had prior health issues that has made it more difficult to conceive. Your constant questioning can open old wounds.
2. The couple could have financial issues. Since you’re not the couple’s accountant you don’t know what they’re going through finance wise. Maybe they’ve hit a rough patch and just don’t have the money for a child right now. Maybe they’ve never been able to get on track financially and have decided it’s not the best time.
3. Telling a woman she’s old is just flat-out rude. Let me say I’m not one of those people who hates aging. I actually welcome it, and I’m very happy every year on my birthday. You wouldn’t believe how many people have told me that I’m OLD and the door is closing for me to conceive. I know how old I am and that I’m headed into the stage of “high risk pregnancy” age, and I’m totally fine with that. My question is if I’m fine with it then why aren’t you???
4. When someone tells you they’re not ready and you continue to tell them why being a parent is amazing just know you’re once again being rude. I LOVE kids, but I don’t like babies. Hey, that’s my truth! I don’t want to hold your babies, I don’t want to talk baby talk to them. I don’t want to play with their toys. That might sound rude, but that’s how I feel right now in life. That doesn’t mean WHEN and IF I have my own I won’t love and support them because I will. But they’ll be mine, and we’ll share the same blood and have an unwavering bond. Please, I beg of you, don’t force your babies on me!!!

The truth is I always thought I’d be a mom one day. I never thought I’d be married, but I always knew I’d be a mom. But for a number of reasons it hasn’t happened yet, and they’ve been mine and Anthony’s choices. We’re genuinely happy enjoying life as HutchStew, and yes, maybe one day it’ll be HutchStew and our crew. But until that day, you all get ONE baby question and then I refuse to answer anything else. To be honest, it’s a bit overwhelming for me. My life is not missing anything right now including a baby. Therefore it’s difficult for me to understand all the fuss over when I’ll push one out.

I’ve told people more lies about babies than I can count, and that’s simply because people won’t stop asking questions. I’ve told a number of people I’m about to stop taking my birth control…LIE! I took it this morning before heading to work. I’ve told people I don’t want any kids…LIE! As previously stated I’ve always wanted to be a mom. I’ve told people we’re actually planning when we’re going to have a baby…LIE! We talk about kids, but not in-depth like it’s gonna happen this year.

My question to you is…WHEN and IF we decide to have baby HutchStew are you going to go HALF ON A BABY with us?! Are you going to take me to all my doctor’s appointments? Are you going to give Anthony a break and go get me some weird craving in the middle of the night? Seriously, when the baby wakes up every hour on the hour are you going to take turns getting up and putting the baby back to sleep? When the baby is sick are you going to take off work and take care of baby HutchStew? When the baby needs diapers, formula and expensive gadgets can we call you to split the cost of the things we need? When we try to rearrange our life to ensure we still have regular date nights are you going to babysit for FREE?

What I’ve decided to do is keep “half on a baby coupons” with me and every time someone asks me about a baby I’m going to give them a coupon for what they’re responsible for when baby HutchStew is born. So, be careful when you ask me personal questions, because you just might be signing yourself up for rocking baby HutchStew back to sleep at 3am.

Since you guys have a ton of questions for us, I have one very important question for you…Can we go half on a baby???