Image by Ivory Door Studio
Who remembers taking a test, and afterwards the teacher informed it would be graded on a curve? You would instantly know the majority of students were going to get not so good grades because preference was given to the person that scored the highest. Honestly, I hated being graded on a curve because it wasn’t a true reflection of my work. I know you’re thinking what do grades have to do with this week’s Truth Tuesday? Well, sit back and let me break it down for you.
As a society we’ve become very visual creatures. Our eyes have become attracted to flashy images while our brains have been washed to believe there is such a thing as a “standard”. We should have individual standards and throw caution to the wind about what others will think. (I know, I know, it’s much easier said than done). But lately, I’ve realized there are certain things that are being graded on a curve, and it’s starting to really annoy me. Have you ever heard someone say a person is attractive to be a “dark skin” person? What about this one, “Happy Birthday girl, 33 looks great on you”. You’re still not convinced? Okay, what about, “Yeah I know Rhonda, she’s pretty, well, for a big girl”. I’m sure this happens to men, but I’m convinced it happens to women more.
Recently, I was thinking about my last birthday. There were countless people who told me my age looked good one me, but when I was in my 20s NO ONE uttered those words. It made me wonder, at what age do people feel obligated to let you know you’re “defying the odds” and still look “presentable to the world”? Truthfully, whatever age you just answered isn’t good enough for me. It might sound corny, but beauty comes at any age!
In the black community, we have an obsession with color. Trust me, I know this runs deep and goes back as far as “house and field niggers”. What I don’t understand is why dark skin women are graded on a curve. It’s as if their beauty is praised only if there is an asterisk beside the compliment. I know it’s a hashtag, but it’s also true…Black IS BEAUTIFUL!
How do we overcome this way of thinking? That’s tough, and it’s not something that’s going to happen overnight. What we can do is start calling people out when they’re grading someone on a curve. That means even checking ourselves at times.
Figure out what’s important to you, focus on it and make it the best it can be with or without someone’s pointless curve…CHEERS!
Have do you feel about being graded on a curve?
Until next time loves…
I never thought about this subject as being graded on a curve but it is definitely true. I would say that I have receieved a compliment and instead of saying thank you, I tend to downplay my ownself. I have been the one who gets offended like it was me when I hear someone say, O she looks pretty for a dark skin girl”. I never understood that either until I got older and started to learn where that mentality came from. I think we are doing better by having women like you and others that I see acknowledge the wrong in it and changing the thought behind it.
I love your honesty ❤️
This is a great article and we all grade on the curve.. society has told us how we should perceive beauty especially when it comes to the complexion of black women
I agree, black women are definitely judged harshly
I’ve honestly never thought of being graded on a curve in this way but I will say that all black is beautiful. The whole spectrum.
Yeah it happens to us all but you’re right all of us is beautiful
As someone who is raising a daughter, I make sure that none of this grading on the curve happens in our home. If..when.. she hears any of this outside the home, I hope I have prepared her to ignore the nonsense.
I love that you’re teaching her at home. So much starts at home. 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Great read. Your honesty is beautiful. I wouldve told people I’m fine at any age lol 20s, 30s, 40s doesn’t matter.
Right, I agree!!!
I struggled with my dark skin when I was younger. Now I love and appreciate me and I love all of my black women looking flawless and happy in their own skin and in their own way. I do not grade on a curve and hopefully others will catch up to that.
Thanks for not grading ❤️
I loved this post, especially as a dark-skinned beauty!
Yes, dark skin is so beautiful ❤️
Truth and yes. This has been my experience and it is so important to shed light on it. Thank you.
Thanks for reading
Although colorism exists as a dark skin sister it didn’t really effect me much. I guess I always thought I was beautiful on the inside and attractive enough on the outside.
Yes, I love your thought process
Great read! Learning to not worry what others think is not an easy task, but it is something we all should strive for. Breaking up with many of society lessons are vital for our mental health.
You hit the nail on the head. It’s very important for mental health.
You know what I say about compliment curves…screw them! People need to keep their curving comments to themselves just a sign of no home training.
LOL none at all