Images By: Ivory Door Studio
It’s Stew, and I’m back with this week’s edition of Truth Tuesday. I know yall ready so I’m going to jump right in it.
As I stated in my IG post yesterday, both of us were immature and ill-equipped for this relationship. He was scared of the future so he chose to take baby steps toward it. While I said who cares if I don’t know what I’m doing, I’m going to do it anyway. I went from caring about our relationship to becoming very manipulative. I would say and do things I knew would cut deep. The saying hurt people, hurt people is so true, and I was living proof.
This leads us to my 30th birthday. My mom who lives in MN had been planning a surprise party for me for a year. I was under the impression that my immediate family was coming to Nashville to take me to dinner to celebrate. They arrived on a Friday night, and I couldn’t get to their hotel fast enough. I remember talking to Anthony on my way there. YALL!!! This is when he hit me with one hell of a bombshell. I’m not sure why he felt this was the right moment to tell me how much money he made. I was outwardly silent, but inside I had questions that needed answers.
- Is he trying to purposely ruin my 30th birthday?
- How in the hell has he been paying for these dates?
- God, is this a joke? You really sent me someone that’s broke?
After all the dust settled from the party, I remembered I was dating someone with no money, and I was STILL trying to figure out how he was paying for these dates. Honestly, this was the worst time for him to tell me this, because I was deep in the middle of my manipulative stage and I couldn’t wait to use this against him. Guess what, I used it against him, again, and again, and again. It’s slightly embarrassing to admit how much I used it as a ploy to make him feel bad, because I was leading with anger instead of love. I think my lowest moment was comparing him to other guys and saying, “hey look they have their ish together why don’t you”.
But wait, there’s more! I got a new job, and that only made things worse. It was the job I talked about in the blog Golden Handcuffs. It was the momma I made it job, and I let Anthony know I had made it every chance I got. My bravado was at an all time high, along with my insults and our arguments. Then one day, it all became too much!
Since yall hate my cliffhangers. I’ll leave you with the words of John Mayer, “all you need is love is a lie, cause we had love but we still said goodbye. Now we’re tired, battered fighters.”
Hutch will be back next week! Happy Thanksgiving!
Until next time loves…
Wow, after all this and y’all are still together… lol. Y’all really must love each other. That’s so sweet. Great post!
Oh yeah it was bad for years but I’m open about all of it
Woooooow. I can’t say I’ve ever been there but I think I understand the moment that you feel like “WOW is this a joke God.” This reminds me of the time my stepdad told me never to share my earnings with my mate. He said it could make or break a relationship. Thanks for sharing and being open.
It didn’t break ours but there was definitely a few cracks afterwards
Ummm this is still a cliff hanger but good of course. Anxiously waiting for next week.
LOL dang it I thought I did better this time. Thanks for reading!
Now, this is getting REAL interesting!! It is a true cliche’ that all relationships are going to be tested in some way. I am learning through your story that we have to know when to check ourselves and know when we are being manipulative towards our spouse to get our way. I am happy to know that Anthony was willing to obviously forgive you in order to become your husband in the end.
Yes, it for forgiveness on both sides
This is juicy! I always wonder what the guys I date actually make lol……you’re not wrong. I can’t wait to hear what happens next
Not juicy 😂 I can’t wait to see what he has to say lol
I can’t wait to read next week’s truth Tuesday. This is an interesting post. I love seeing how you two came together.
Thanks so much for reading
I like how you reference songs in your posts. This left me thinking of a Sade one. “Love is Stronger Than Pride”. It is evident that Love is winning in your marriage no matter how pride shows up.
I need to look that song up
Girl! I was this girl too, I was hurt and I would hurt others. I knew exactly how to cut someone with my words.
Yes, I was really bad at that. It was sad.
I giggled a little inside reading this “You really sent me someone that’s broke?” Financially broke but rich in other ways, maybe? The money situation can always change.
Yaaaaasss!!! You said a word with “financially broke but rich in other ways” that’s so true!!!
Whoa Sheena! You are keeping it real as always. Mann this is getting so good! Can’t wait for next week.
Thanks girl ❤️
I think its good that you guys 1. made it through and 2. can share your experience with others because there are countless other people in or nearing similar situations and it’s good to see that things can be survived with the right person.
Yes, I agree
Oh wow, he must’ve really loved you to have stayed. Glad you guys worked it out.
He did 🤗
Honesty is so important in relationships. Especially in the beginning. Glad you guys worked thorough it though.
Yes, I think most couples have struggles
It’s amazing that the both of you were able to stay together through everything. I’m glad things worked out!
Thanks so much
I’m waiting for next week. This is a good reminder to never judge a book by its cover.
Thanks for reading
When you wrote, “I couldn’t wait to use this against him. Guess what, I used it against him, again, and again, and again,” those words struck a chord with me because I have to learn how to let things go because no man wants his woman to harp on the past.
Girl!!! I used to do that all the time. It was so bad.
I think we all had an immature phase. At least he was being upfront with you and I am so happy you all work through that era.
Yes, definitely very immature