Images By: Ivory Door Studio
It’s Stew, and I’m back with this week’s edition of Truth Tuesday. I know yall ready so I’m going to jump right in it.
As I stated in my IG post yesterday, both of us were immature and ill-equipped for this relationship. He was scared of the future so he chose to take baby steps toward it. While I said who cares if I don’t know what I’m doing, I’m going to do it anyway. I went from caring about our relationship to becoming very manipulative. I would say and do things I knew would cut deep. The saying hurt people, hurt people is so true, and I was living proof.
This leads us to my 30th birthday. My mom who lives in MN had been planning a surprise party for me for a year. I was under the impression that my immediate family was coming to Nashville to take me to dinner to celebrate. They arrived on a Friday night, and I couldn’t get to their hotel fast enough. I remember talking to Anthony on my way there. YALL!!! This is when he hit me with one hell of a bombshell. I’m not sure why he felt this was the right moment to tell me how much money he made. I was outwardly silent, but inside I had questions that needed answers.
- Is he trying to purposely ruin my 30th birthday?
- How in the hell has he been paying for these dates?
- God, is this a joke? You really sent me someone that’s broke?
After all the dust settled from the party, I remembered I was dating someone with no money, and I was STILL trying to figure out how he was paying for these dates. Honestly, this was the worst time for him to tell me this, because I was deep in the middle of my manipulative stage and I couldn’t wait to use this against him. Guess what, I used it against him, again, and again, and again. It’s slightly embarrassing to admit how much I used it as a ploy to make him feel bad, because I was leading with anger instead of love. I think my lowest moment was comparing him to other guys and saying, “hey look they have their ish together why don’t you”.
But wait, there’s more! I got a new job, and that only made things worse. It was the job I talked about in the blog Golden Handcuffs. It was the momma I made it job, and I let Anthony know I had made it every chance I got. My bravado was at an all time high, along with my insults and our arguments. Then one day, it all became too much!
Since yall hate my cliffhangers. I’ll leave you with the words of John Mayer, “all you need is love is a lie, cause we had love but we still said goodbye. Now we’re tired, battered fighters.”
Hutch will be back next week! Happy Thanksgiving!
Until next time loves…