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Last week I reached out to my therapist and asked if she could tell me the date of my first session along with any notes she had taken. Friends, be careful what you ask for lol, but I do believe sometimes we need reminders of how far we’ve come. This week’s Truth Tuesday I’m going to share some very personal information with yall in order to show you that it’s possible to heal, learn and evolve through therapy.
My first therapy session was February 6th 2010, and it was basically an information gathering and goal setting session. There were three quotes of mine that she jotted down, and today I’m happy to share them with you.
- I feel lost
- I get angry easily (she wrote that the anger was due to my abuse as a child)
- I am not getting along with my father right now
She also provided me with the goals we identified and discussed
- Deal with my history of sexual abuse
- Work on anger issues
- Address conflict with my father
- Desire to form a long-term relationship with a man
- Gain clarification about my direction in life
Let me unpack the above notes. I remember walking into her office a scared 20 something not sure what to expect from my first therapy session. I was walking through life as a lost angry soul. There was a constant internal conflict. Knowing who I was, but not being able to outwardly express it was something I struggled with daily.
I’ve worked on being a better communicator. This has helped me with my anger issues. Me being able to Use My Words and effectively express myself has been the catalyst for a lot of change in my life. Becoming a better communicator also forced me to tip toe into the land of vulnerability.
I was able to work through the child abuse by accepting that it was not my fault, erasing all the shame associated with it and realizing that everyone (even the ones closest to me) won’t believe it or fully understand it. Once I started to open up in therapy about my abuse and the effects it had on my life I was able to break free from its hold.
There was one goal I set during my first session that wasn’t accomplished. I don’t have a relationship with my father. I can’t tell you the last time I’ve spoken to him. I tried to cultivate a relationship, but for whatever reason it didn’t happen. At this point in my life I’m not concerned with whose fault it is or who did what wrong. I’ve made peace with the fact that we’ll never have a relationship.
Speaking of relationships, one of my goals/desires was to have a romantic relationship. Well, as you know I’m Stew and there’s an amazing man in my life named Hutch that I happily get to call husband. I find solace in knowing that because I’ve done my work and married an amazing man our kids won’t know the pain of abandonment I’ve felt throughout the years. We call that breaking generational curses my friends.
I walked into my first therapy session lost, angry, afraid, having no sense of direction and honestly barely surviving. Through 9 years of evolving I rarely get angry, I’m loved, I’m vulnerable and although I might not know my exact destination I know which direction to go.
I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again, therapy literally saved my life!
Until next time loves…
Thank you for sharing your story Sheena! I agreed with you about therapy being one of the best decisions. I grew up thinking that therapy wasn’t for people who weren’t strong and I felt ashamed about trying it out. However, it’s literally the best thing for me and I’ve healed so much from it. I honestly wished I started it sooner.
My mom took me when I was in middle school but I wasn’t open to it so I only went to one session. I’m glad you’re going and not ashamed.
Thanks Sheena for sharing this. I love your transparency and openness. It means more than I can even say right now.
Awww thank you for continuing to read/support! I’m happy you were able to connect with it. ❤️
This was simply inspiring and empowering. Thanks for sharing 💞
Thank you for reading. I’m honored that this was able to inspire and empower. ❤️❤️❤️
I know I say it all the time but your transparency is so amazing and I know you help so many people. I’m so glad and thankful you created this platform.
Awww thanks so much! I’m not sure why I keep putting my business in the streets lol.
I love that you openly share your journey. I know it is helping others. Thank God for your growth, you’ve come a long way lady. I hope you are proud.
Yes, thank God for sure ❤️
Let me start of by saying you look fabulous, as always! I love your Tuesday Truths. I appreciate you sharing this. It’s so amazing to look back at the growth and progress.
Thanks girl! I got the outfit from Goodwill.
Thank you for this post! Therapy is a useful way to get an outside perspective when we cant get out of our own heads. They help you find the tools to work through the problems you are facing.
I couldn’t agree more. It has helped me tremendously.
Thank you for sharing your story! Therapy can be so life-changing and with the right therapist progress can be made that pushes us to our best lives. I’m happy for you that you found your peace and accomplished the goals you set for yourself in that first session.
It has definitely been life changing. I’m so happy that I found a great one.
Yes to therapy! Yes to self care! I am all about seeing my therapist. It was tough at first ut I really have had some breakthroughs in going consistently.
-shay
I’m with you consistency is the key. I’m so happy you’ve had some great breakthroughs.
Thank you for sharing and being so open. Progress is important and I’m glad you were able to see how far you have come
Thanks so much for reading ❤️
This is inspirational as you are proof that one can get beyond childhood trauma and lead a fulfilling life. Thank you for touting the benefits of therapy.
Yes, it was a long road but I made it
I’m still trying to come to terms with going to a therapist. Not because of who they are but more so of what I have to do when I get there.
Give it time. The first few sessions can been kind of awkward.
I saw you speak at the Black Women in Creative Spaces event and could relate to your honesty and rawness. I’ve had to (and still am) work through childhood trauma and abuse. What therapy has taught me is to set hard boundaries and honor myself. I still struggle with how I fit into this world sometimes, but growth and evolution is a blessing.
Thanks for this message! Setting boundaries are very important but like you said can be difficult at times. ❤️
Honestly, I have wanted to seek therapy as I have formed anxiety late in life. Not sure if I will be able to open up immediately, but I am willing to try.
Just take baby steps. Tell as much or as little as you feel comfortable with sharing. I wish you love and light on your journey. ❤️
I am soooo not ready for therapy yet. I have tried it in the past and don’t feel I had gotten anything out of it, didn’t feel like in either instance I was being told anything new about myself and my life that I didn’t already know. Needless to say, I was disappointed. But you seem to have overcome so much and have reaped the benefit of getting help with the areas of your life that you wanted to change. I can only imagine the relief you feel.
I’m sorry it didn’t help you.