I often get comments, texts, emails etc about my Truth Tuesday posts. They usually say something like I can’t believe you’re so transparent, vulnerable and honest with your audience. My thoughts are if you’re going to do something you have to be fully invested or people will see right through it. I always get asked how do you come up with your topics. They honestly just pop in my head, and I run with it. I’m not the blogger that does research on my post. If I did, I wouldn’t be authentic. This week I didn’t know what I was going to write about and was certain Truth Tuesday wouldn’t happen this week. Then, at 9:00am this morning I text Anthony and said Truth Tuesday just hit me. This week I want to talk about insecurities. I have three insecurities I’m going to discuss today. One of them is a current insecurity. One is still an insecurity, but the way I look at it has changed. The last one is no longer an insecurity, but I still want to talk about it.
The first one is my “weirdness”. A few days ago I went to brunch with two friends, and one of them said I was “wei”, and then stopped. I laughed and said you can say I’m weird, trust me you’re not the first and won’t be the last. Growing up, I was often times called weird. Was I bullied? No, but it did bother me, because I didn’t understand how I was weird. The older I get the more I embrace my weirdness. To be completely honest, I’m still not 100% sure why people say I’m weird, but I slightly think it’s because I go against the grain. I don’t follow societal norms. This is not out of protest or me trying to be different. It’s simply because that’s who I am. So, for all my weird peeps out there, EMBRACE IT, LIVE IN IT!!!
My second insecurity is my appearance. I often talk about my mom on the blog. Growing up and still today people comment on her looks. She’s a looker! When I was younger I took the constant compliments of her looks and internalized them. People would often say your mom is so beautiful and you look just like your dad. Now that I’m older, I know they meant no harm, but as a child it was tough to process their words. Currently, that insecurity has changed. I don’t feel ugly, but in turn I don’t fully embrace my beauty. This past weekend, I had two friends tell me that I’m beautiful, but I tend to play down my looks. There’s no lie there! I’d rather talk about my creativity, the power of my pen or my compassionate heart. I don’t like to talk about my looks, and it truly makes me uncomfortable when people talk about it. I have to learn to EMBRACE it just like I have embraced my weirdness.
My last insecurity is one that I currently struggle with, and it’s my acne. Like most kids, I started getting acne when I was in high school, but unlike other kids mine never went away. It can be difficult having acne in your 30s. You would think I wore makeup every day, but I don’t. I actually never wear make-up unless I’m taking professional pictures. First, I don’t know how to really apply it. Three years ago, I got make up as a gift for Christmas and it was the first time I’d ever owned any. It’s just not my thing so no matter how much I battle with my acne, makeup and I won’t be bffs any time soon. I do go to the dermatologist, but I don’t do a great job with keeping up with my regimens. I went a few months ago and she prescribed me a medicine that requires me not to be pregnant. As you guys know I’m not having any babies right now, but she asked me five times if I was pregnant or could be pregnant. Listen, if a medicine is that harsh I want no parts of it. So, my struggle continues.
We all have insecurities and maybe someone reading this has one of the same insecurities as me. If so, I hope I provided you with comfort today. Tuesday is my day to keep it 100 with my readers. I want you to know I’m human just like you. When we find some type of commonality with people, we’re able to find a connection and that’s where love drowns out hate and fear.
Until next time loves.